Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Randomize
