She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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