dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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