After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
