i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
