After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
