Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
