If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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