More tranny stories later!
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
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