i need an iv and a liver transplant
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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