i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
