I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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