I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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