I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Randomize
