Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just gift wrapped bread.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
