My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
