Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
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