Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
