we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
i've created a new STD.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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