So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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