If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
