So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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