You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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