Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
