wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
