So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I just had sex on a roof
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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