i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
