I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
