Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
