I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
