Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
