so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I need a beard to bite.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
