that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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