YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
