Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
