i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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