I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
