Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
