I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Hippo gnu deer
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Randomize
