FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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