apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
