I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
My ass is underappreciated
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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