I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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