gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize