im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
