Got a toothbrush?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I need water and some morals
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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