I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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