a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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