It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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