i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
tell me about the fingering
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