i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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