Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My feet surprised me
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