East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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