I skipped work to stalk him.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
