so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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