why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
