why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
it's like iHOP with fire
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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