No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
