please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
