i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
